Parenting has existed forever, but we have never discussed it as much as we do today. Bookstores are overflowing with parenting advice. Do you have questions? Many websites and online groups, some linked to Koi Fortune login, offer opinions and advice. They discuss topics like sleep training and screen time.
Parenting: The Hardest Job You’ll Ever Love
It’s a nonstop ride—full of highs, lows, and everything. Sometimes you squeal with joy. Other times, you feel like you might puke. Then, you might scream, “Stop the ride! I want off!”
It’s hard to prepare fully, but hearing from seasoned parents can be helpful. Every kid, parent, and family is unique. Still, some key things are important to know from the start.
Someone on Reddit asked, “What’s something people aren’t warned about enough when it comes to having kids?” The answers were eye-opening. Here are some highlights:
Why You Have Less Control Over Your Child Than You Think
“Odds are, your child won’t grow into the person you pictured in your head,” someone shared. While you play a role, every child is their own person. They also change as they grow. Focusing too much on who you want your child to be can block you from appreciating who they are.
Another commenter pointed out that many parents forget their children are individuals, with their minds, values, and paths. These kids think for themselves. Their actions, values, interests, and skills may differ from yours. Many parents struggle with this. You should accept this possibility before becoming a parent.
Another person added:
“This is why so many parent-child relationships end up strained. Some parents treat raising a child like programming a flawless human. When their kids turn out differently or the opposite, they feel let down. Kids who seem completely fine can grow into adults carrying quiet resentment.” This often happens because their parents have unrealistic expectations. These expectations usually don’t connect to who the kids are.”
The Books Aren’t All That Helpful
Most of us turn to “experts” for parenting advice when unsure. While some advice in parenting books can be useful, it isn’t a sign of good parenting.
A commenter said, “Books inspire us, but real insight comes from our own experiences and advice from friends, pediatricians, and therapists.” But ultimately, you have this unique little person to care for. They have their likes, feelings, fears, and skills. Determining what works best for your unique child and your family dynamic is key. What matters is raising a kind, capable person who makes the world a little better.
Another wrote:
Or as one mom put it perfectly: “The kid hasn’t read the book.”
Did she stop pushing to be herself? Nope. She is a strong woman but has some scars on her soul.
She saw what her three kids loved, and then she helped them chase their passions without stress. She also encouraged them to explore other hobbies, sports, and the arts. I still don’t have the words to fully thank her for that.
It Doesn’t Go By Fast—Until It Does
“The days feel endless, but the years fly by,” someone wrote. It’s true—when you’re exhausted and in the middle of it all, hearing that time goes fast feels like a joke. And then suddenly, in what feels like a blink, your baby isn’t a baby anymore.
Now I understand. I find myself watching my kids in disbelief—like, when did this happen? They couldn’t even lift their heads one minute, and now they’re flipping across the living room.
“This is it!” shared a parent of young adults. Mine are 18, 19, and 20. Empty-nest syndrome is a real thing. I used to laugh off the whole ‘they grow up so fast’ thing—until I saw it happen. Now I catch myself thinking, how did it all pass so quickly?
But I was also juggling three practices in three different places. It goes by so quickly.
Your Time—and Sleep—Are No Longer Yours
Babies wake up often. They might be hungry, practicing crawling, or wanting company at 3 a.m. Sometimes, they cry for no reason.
As they get older, the reasons change—bathroom trips, needing water, bad dreams—and later, deep talks at bedtime keep you up. They want to talk deeply at 10 p.m. Parents usually expect sleep issues when babies are small. Yet, problems can happen at any age.
One parent shared, “Once they grow up, privacy kind of disappears. “They stay awake longer than you.”
“Evenings used to be my alone time,” someone else said. “Now, if I want peace, it’s got to happen between 4 and 6 in the morning.”
I’ve got young adults, a teenager, and one about to get there—so trust me, I get it. I often wake up early to enjoy some quiet time alone.
Final Thoughts
When you try your best, the joy of parenting can outweigh the tough times. Seeing the joys and challenges of parenting helps people set realistic expectations. This makes it easier to manage the ups and downs that happen along the way.
Bob Duncan is the lead writer and partner on ConversationsWithBianca.com. A passionate parent, he’s always excited to dive into the conversation about anything from parenting, food & drink, travel, to gifts & more!