First dates are always a bit tricky. Ever found yourself unsure how to kick things off, deal with unexpected moments, or want to just get closer to someone? Figuring out table manners and handling the mix of emotions that can attract or spook your date – yeah, we’ve all been there! But we know that those first date emotions with someone special are very memorable, especially if you’ve waited a long time for the right person.
Even if you get butterflies with your new date, you’re probably still reviewing your behavior and wondering the best ways to impress. Well, we’ve got you covered. We’ve listed some of our best advice to help you keep the spark and the magic of a first date. Let’s help you get ready for your most amazing date ever!
1. Don’t Pretend to be Something You’re not
On a first date, we all want to make a good impression and really connect. Shy types put in the effort to express themselves, while the outgoing ones might show off their explosive personality with ease. The trick is to strike a balance – not too reserved but not too flashy. A study at #Dating found that sharing too little on a first date was a red flag for daters, so don’t be afraid to keep it real, stay relaxed, and enjoy the first-date ride!
2. When Asking Someone Out, Keep It Clear
Sometimes, when someone is shy, they don’t really say what they want. Other times, they might come on a bit too strong. Express your intentions clearly. When inviting someone for a date, you could say something like: “I would like to take you out. I suggest next Saturday. I’ll pick you up at 8:30 pm. Is that good for you?”
If the answer is no, don’t jump to conclusions; evaluate what they’re saying. Try to adapt to the other person’s considerations, but leave space for them too. If the person is interested, they will accept the invitation or look for an alternative. If this doesn’t happen, don’t insist. You shouldn’t ever get stuck with negativity or forget about your self-love.
3. Don’t Choose Inappropriate Places
When it comes to a first meet-up, aim for a spot where you can talk and share thoughts. A neutral, public place is a good start when you’re first getting to know someone.
Before suggesting things, find out what you both like. If there’s something you both enjoy, deciding together can make it much more fun. It doesn’t matter if the idea is from you or both of you. The important thing is that you both like the choice. Make sure to dress in something you feel comfortable in and that suits the location you’ll be meeting at – no need to wear a fancy ballgown to a cafe!
4. Manners Cost Nothing
Escorting someone to the door and pulling out their chair is never out of fashion and everyone will appreciate respect being shown to them. But don’t be afraid to ask – perhaps they prefer to share the bill for example. It’s important to respect each other’s beliefs and values, but traditional manners never go a miss.
5. Your life is Not an Open Book
When it comes to the first date, what you’ll want to tick off your checklist is if there is chemistry between the two of you. You can move on to tiny details later, but it’s okay to leave the person wanting to know even more about you. Establish that first connection, then you can talk about deeper topics as the relationship progresses.
6. Stay in The Moment
If your phone rings during the date, this can be distracting and disengaging for everyone. Nobody wants to be interrupted all the time or to realize that the other person is not listening to you. Keep your phone tucked away in a pocket or a bag and make sure that your date knows that you are present and want to spend time with them.
7. Don’t go Overboard With Affection
The approach to affection should be slow, especially on a first date. Try and focus on the point of a first date – to talk and get to know each other, not what may be to come later! If you want to initiate any form of physical affection you should ask the other person if that is okay, proceeding without a green light is unacceptable.
You can still express affection with words too, like if you like their outfit, their smile, or even their laugh! To create meaningful connections, it’s much better to give them that warm fuzzy feeling in other ways than just the form of touch on a first date.
8. Don’t Dump Your Frustrations And Expectations
Maybe you have had some bad love experiences in the past, but the first date is really not the time to be bringing these up. No one wants to hear about how you were ghosted 3 months ago – focus on the present and the now!
Or maybe, you’re so excited and really believe this new person will meet all of your expectations and more. However, love-bombing your first date with strong words about how your future could go will spook your partner. No one wants to leave the first date with a commitment to marriage!
It’s okay to express your feelings, tell stories, and be warm-hearted. But try and keep things on the surface, especially as you may hardly know each other.
By following this advice, we’re sure the first meeting will be fun for both of you! Who knows what will happen after that, but at least you have set yourself up for great success. Enjoy the twists and turns of dating!
Bob Duncan is the lead writer and partner on ConversationsWithBianca.com. A passionate parent, he’s always excited to dive into the conversation about anything from parenting, food & drink, travel, to gifts & more!