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This article was written on 17 Mar 2014, and is filled under Inspiration, Music Chats.

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Courtney Love On Love: “the more you love yourself the more you can be loved.”

Courtney Love
I’ve always been a huge fan of musician, artist and actress, Courtney Love. I’ve followed all that she does since I was a teen, her new youtube channel – Courtney Love Official – is no exception. Since Valentine’s Day Courtney’s been connecting with fans direct via “Fan Hangouts” where people can ask her questions on varying themes which she answers sharing from her wealth of experience and life.

I’ve said “no” so many times to doing lame TV shows over the years. But then along came the digital world to disrupt everything.

There are so many cool things happening in web culture right now that I love- from all the weird and fringy stuff, to the fun over the top personalities of YouTube vloggers. From cool Fashion chick’s videos and makeup tutorials, to some amazing discoveries in new music and art from all over the world.

So follow me and subscribe to my new channel and watch me dive into the wild world of YouTube… and watch me have fun showing you all the things I’m passionate about!

XX COURTNEY

Below I’ve collected a Q&A session with Courtney (from Valentine’s Day) when she spent time answering fan questions via her facebook page. I found some of her answers/advice to be insightful.

What’s the tattoo say on your wrist say?

COURTNEY LOVE: Me and David LaChapelle got the same one, it’s from rocky horror picture show and says: don’t dream it be it.

How many people have given you flowers today?

CL: As of now, 7! 4 are from straight men so I’m ahead of the curve!

Will you and Billy Corgan ever collaborate officially?

CL: We have and that’s a thing of the past.

If you get a box of chocolates, what flavors do you want the most and which ones do you throw out?

CL: Here’s the scary part, I can eat out but I really, really dislike chocolate, isn’t that awful?

What would be your ideal gift or romantic gesture for Valentine’s Day?

CL: Basically it depends whose doing it. I mean I’m old school, a piece of really nice jewelry would appeal to my old hoyden gold diggers of 1933 ( that’s a movie not literal I’m plenty fine with my own wealth) but you know I’d take a text from some people…it just depends.

So not only did you influence me musically, massively! You also made me realise I was gay! How many girls have you slept with?

CL: Boarding school doesn’t count as the British say. None of your business!

If you were a man what kind of women you would be into?

CL: Me.

courtney love art

Is loving someone and hating them at the same time true love?

CL: It’s not very sensible and it probably won’t end well, you have to be best friends that’s the critical part, with a lot of trust that builds up pretty slowly really as trust tends to do.

I’m tending bar tonight and am trying to come up with a shot called, “A Shot of Love.” What would your shot of love consist of?

CL: Galliano liqueur, crème de cacao, shaved cherries; it’s called a Golden Cadillac and it’s from the 20s—add blackstrap molasses bitters and I’m golden baby.

Have your tastes in men changed as you’ve got older?

CL: Oh yeah, hugely! I don’t go out with musicians and I don’t go out with actors unless they also direct and produce cos they tend to be girls waiting by the wall to get picked for the prom…although I have many, many actor and movie star boyfriends, they are at this point all platonic. I am really intrigued by smart guys who don’t have tattoos, that happened years ago, and I love discretion. So yes my taste has changed. Hey Reznor how you doing? I remain a fan, you were on my mind last night at the party, cos I missed Fincher. Congrats on your Oscars!

We are talking about love….is your biggest love Frances?

CL: Absolutely Franny is my biggest cherry blossom 100 percent.

Do you believe in love at first sight?

CL: Not really, I believe in intrigue at first sight.

How was your first kiss?

CL: Oh baby, I can’t recall. I recall my first kiss that had love in it though, not my punk rock nonsense from before I should have kissed anyone. Hold out, just hold out, don’t grow up too quickly you don’t feel anything unless your mature enough and ready to and in love or at least in puppy love anyway. Don’t just go kissing boys because it’s what “people do” at your school, especially under the age of 16…I mean it.

Courtney-Love-art

You don’t have a man today giving you real love…

CL: No I do, just not in the way that we expect it to happen, I’m pretty secure dear. Idon’t have a confidence problem with men per se, just certain ones bring out my more sensitive and insecure side, especially brilliant genius ones that are a little eccentric but we’ll see it’ll all work out.

I struggle with opiate addiction and although it hasn’t fully taken my life over [I like to consider myself a functioning addict – although that doesn’t make it right], I feel it is holding me back from getting a good man in my life. My question to you is, when you were an addict, did you find it difficult to find and maintain love?

CL: Not with other addicts but clean people, all you do is make a mess. I suggest you get the professional help you need, there are a lot of options for opiate addicts now and a lot of new medications on the market that will help you mostly though work on dopamine oxytocin not contin and vasopressin by working out spiritually and physically. It’s why I chant; I’m an opiate addict too, I just don’t take them.

What’s the most amount of Valentines you’ve had? I’m sure you get asked by a lot of people!

CL: Well today doesn’t suck. 6 bouquets of flowers already and it’s not even noon. I’d prefer a handwritten letter more than anything. Remember before the internet when we used stamps? God. I miss that period… I remember writing a letter to Billy Corgan that said “the killer in me is the killer in you” which he used as a lyric in a song. I did not write the following line, nor would I, “I send this smile over to you my love” ouch, but I appreciate that that lyric came from a pen on a piece of paper.

Courtney do you believe astrology has any play into who we love?

CL: Absolutely not. Astrology is the biggest load of nonsense there is. Firstly you’re depending on celestial noir Vedic astrology; that means when thousands of years ago astrology moved west, we lost a sign, meaning you’re not a Taurus you’re an Aries and really your gonna let 12 planets dictate your life? It’s so bogus, I don’t even hear it when someone tells me their sign. Its total pop psych for the bourgeoisie. Just leave it, I know it can be comforting but it’s seriously nonsense.

Red lips today. Yes or no? Too cliché?

CL: I’m wearing rosy red and a pink dress so I’m with you, clichés are there for a reason.

Courtney! I wanted to ask if you feel that the concept of a soul mate is completely romantic or if you believe you could have a platonic soul mate as well?

CL: If there was only one soul mate I’d have done it all already, nonsense. I have 6 cherry blossom tattoos each one symbolizes someone I have truly loved—a great love, a soulmate if you will. I’ve only had 3 and Frances is one, so that’s 4 and I left two empty just to leave room for my one true love whose coming, cos he is. You have to know that the more you love yourself the more you can be loved. Platonic soul mates are actually the best in some ways. I truly believe your destiny is by no means set in stone, I’ve been up down all the way to the top and all the way bottom and I shouldn’t be alive. It’s only my spiritual hygiene (in my case ski Buddhism the lotus sutra) that keeps my karma moving and changing and my self-esteem strong.

42birkin_bags by courtney love

What don’t you do on Valentine’s Day? Why?

CL: I don’t sit around pouting. I used to. Once I even (when I was a very dramatic teenager) faked a “suicide attempt” using food colouring, a bath tub and a disposable razor so I could squeeze a drop of blood out. I ran around Portland, Oregon with Victorian ribbons that reached the gutter around my wrists cos I was such a nut job romantic 16-year-old Miss Havisham [FYI: a character in Charles Dickens novel Great Expectations] …thank god I grew out of that nonsense. It was totally bogus by the way, I even tried to demand the doctor give me stitches, which I didn’t need. I was a terrible phony cutter.

Why did you Choose LOVE as your Artist Name?

CL: I was going to choose “loveless” but Pat Smear [from The Germs] talked me out of it and I read somewhere that the word love was the most popular word in the English language besides which, it had really been my birth name. I think it sounds like a great porn star name though sometimes!

How was your first v day?

CL: God knows! I was a kid and I was super dramatic and ridiculous. I already told you my 16-year-old Miss Havisham story…thank god the mental illness of adolescence is gone. Now I never call first, well I’m aggressive but, I’m certainly too proud to be the girl that waits by the phone—I hate her! Even though we all have that part of us, it does mean I’m not a total romantic though, I’m just very, very proud.

I’m a bit of an introvert and find it incredibly hard to imagine making the first move on someone I’m interested in. How do you suggest I go about? How would you? Seriously, sometimes being shy can be a fucking curse.

CL: I know, I’m both but I had two shots of tequila last night and someone made the first move (nothing happened) but it was definitely (PS – I’m sober but not an AA sober, so 2 shots of tequila is a lot for me; me and Robin Wright were slow dancing and it was really fun, for the House of Cards party last night) nice and sweet, and then I made a pretend move back but it wasn’t going to go anywhere as it was sort of a perverse in joke anyway, but sometimes (I learned this from rock groupies in the 80s when I used to just be flat chested and in Birkenstocks, compared to their spandex onesies and rabbit fur coats and backstage antics) they would seriously just walk up…I remember Carole “vagina” Vanata walking up to Alex Van Halen and saying “lets fuck”. My jaw was on the floor, I could never ever, ever do that ever. …but I sure can slow dance with a hot woman!

What are, according to you, [is] the best love song and the best song to fuck to?

CL: Fade Into You – Mazzy Star, for sex and umm love hold on… OK I got it… I keep thinking of sex songs like the entire This Mortal Coil record from the 80s. Hmmm love songs…I can’t write them so let me think. I do love PJ Harvey’s “Good fortune” that song is lovely. Oh another great sex song is that one Goldfrapp song that’s sort of disco but is seriously sexy.

If you had to choose between true love or your career which would you pick? And is it better to settle while my eggs aren’t fried, or hold out?

CL: Eggs? What? I didn’t get the metaphor? umm I’d take my career because I can work within it and express whatever I need besides which, the more successful I am the more options I tend to get. I like one guy a lot more than the other ones in my life right now, and there are a few admirers but I would never (not anymore that I’m not a harlot) go to bed with them, so it’s career because it keeps me busy otherwise I just get too sensitive, and bored—idle hands are the devils workshop.

Dont_You_Know_Who_I_Am_2012-courtney love

What was your fav Valentine’s Day moment?

CL: I’m waiting for it to happen (!) but I’ve had some good ones in the past, a diamond isn’t a bad thing!

Where is the craziest place you have spent your Valentine’s Day?? And with who??

CL: Ah well with whom is off limits but, it was in Mustique [a small private island that is part of St Vincent and the Grenadines] on a yacht, it was lovely.

What are your thoughts on remaining friends with an ex? Does this change if the two of you were having an affair?

CL: Ah well this…I know about. I think you don’t have an affair but when you’re done, have one last time, when you’re not in love and then you walk away from it dominating the whole thing, but don’t keep to up as a f**k buddy because that’s just cheating on your present lover.

What is your ideal Valentines’ dinner/food? Is it going to happen tonight?

CL: Try this, I’m waiting to be surprised, if he doesn’t surprise me I’m just going to ignore him. Because it’s so not a big deal but I’m not that girl that “hey man I can hang lets high five, I don’t care”. I’m sensitive and I do care. I already got 3 bouquets from straight men and 4 from gay ones but maybe he just feels like it says too much. I dunno, trust me I won’t be depressed I’ll just move on and accept that he’s got some neurosis and maybe it isn’t the right thing, but don’t ask me who and please don’t even try and guess—there’s several gentleman callers. So I have options….

Any advice for single people that find this holiday a bit “rough”?

CL: Yes, ignore the dammed thing; Halloween is funner. Love yourself and read Emerson and Thoreau and cut out extremes and really, really think of yourself as autonomous and non-reactive. You are your own dammed valentine! And you’re talking to someone who collects antique Valentines just for the perversity of them and because they’re beautiful.

What’s your favourite love poem and/or story?

CL: It’s a poem actually about being sucked dry, it’s by Charles Baudelaire from “Fleurs du mal” and so called the “vampire”.

though who like a vampire thrust entered my complaining soul
though who like a host of demons came most wild and beautiful
ah my heart cast on the ground
into your bed and your domain
wretch infamous to whom I’m bound
like a convict to a chain
a gambler to his dice
a drunkard to his revelry
a carrion of worms and lice
cursed cursed may though be and so on

ART courtney love

Are you interested in Geology? I’ve read it somewhere in the past…not sure if it’s true?

CL: Yes I love quantum physics and geology and the tectonic plates, no they aren’t German; how do you say it? …tectonic (PS – I didn’t remember that someone had to tell me). It helps me with lyrics when I get stuck to watch “Dr. Quantum” explain observation theory or string theory which, I think is sort of nonsense; I love how the planet shifts and ice ages and rivers shifting and physics and why the number 6 is sacred and all that gunk but like I said, astrology is so naff.

Do you think intelligence is an aphrodisiac?

CL: The biggest one, there is no better aphrodisiac, than brilliance. Period. Not power, not money, not status, all that shit is nonsense and looks are relative. …I’ve clearly had the prettiest boy, I was married to him, but what was endearing is that he did not have the remotest idea he was attractive. Where he was from they only thought of big hirsute longshoremen as catches, his prettiness got him beaten up. By the time I convinced [him] he was a great beauty, he started to do things to make himself less attractive cos I think he realized it was a fact. Take that Brad Pitt (you gorgeous man) I think KC [Kurt Cobain] was technically cuter! And I love Brad, he’s very sweet.

What is the difference between love and lust (apart from the dictionary definition)? My problem is I can never tell the difference anymore and in turn, carry on dating the same type of man, who cheats, lies and eventually leaves.

CL: Well even if you’re a chick, I’d subscribe to Neil Strauss’ blog and you need to work on your game and show some restraint, there’s a fine line and you have to be best friends first because lust leaves, it always does. The longest and most passionate marriages and partnerships I have seen have been between people who tend be almost opposite in every way but in values and who have their own space and lives and are not co-dependent; although sex is critical and good sex is awesome, awesome, AWESOME, it’s also important to lay the foundation for having a great friendship and to put family and education and serving the greater good and spiritual hygiene and love itself first—don’t be such a harlot. It doesn’t pay off and you’ll just end up with a bad STD.

Ever faked an orgasm on Valentine’s Day?

CL: I don’t believe [in], and never have, faked an orgasm. It’s cheesy, why should I? I know a lot of people do but if he didn’t get me there, he needs to and I’m not going to fake it. I don’t know about you but, I don’t always need one. That’s plenty about sex kiddies.

Do you think you’re destined to have loves in your life to learn from? Did a psychic tell you yours would be six, hence you saying about your cherry tattoos?

CL: No, I don’t go to psychics except Miss Peri Lyons occasionally because she’s also a Buddhist and every once in a while I ask her for a reading. The New Yorker called Peri Lyons the “best intuitive counselor in New York” she’s not cheap but damn. She’s spot on, I only indulge occasionally; my own intuition is very empathic though not clairvoyant but my lyrics tend to tell my future. I just thought 6 great loves was plenty and if I end up with just 5, I will intertwine both cherry blossoms into one.

Who would you want to play you in a biopic?

CL: She’s doing it.

courtney art

Have a love-filled week,

I heart you

 

*All art featured by Courtney Love (she had an art show last year). CL collage art by me.

One Comment

  1. Darwin Wisenbaker
    April 10, 2015

    If you’re interested in getting to know more about Courtney Love I can recommend visiting http://courtneylove.info

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