Art by Jhon Boy

Change is pretty much one of the only certainties and constants in life (‘besides death and taxes!’ says my pal Dave from Punkcore Records. Ha!) We all reach points in our life when we realise that our ways, patterns, and habits might not suit us anymore or may even be hurting us—in other words we’re growing! Congratulations! Go you!

Changing our ways requires us to learn new habits, to replace the old with new. It requires commitment, hard work, patience, dedication and perseverance. It can feel totally daunting at times—it can seem like an impossible dream. It can feel really, really hard! It can really push you, stretching yourself to new limits can be frightening and uncomfortable. I’ve found though that in these kinds of times I grow so much more than in times when everything feels super sweet and mint.

‘30’ is the magic number of days it takes to make a new habit stick (obviously that number will vary from person to person and habit to habit but it’s a good place to start) it’s the average length of a rehab stint.

For most of us the hardest thing is to overcome our inertia and simply start. We get all psyched out because we scare ourselves into thinking that the change we’re making will be forever! We get overwhelmed and scared and we can want to stay where we are because we know that, it’s familiar to us. That’s why setting yourself a temporary goal of trying something for a short time (in the grand scheme of things) of 30-days and telling yourself you’re free to go back to your old ways after that period is a good way to make it seem less scary. It’s not FOREVER it’s for 30-days. You can do it! If need be put up a calendar on your wall and count down the days to your freedom. Crossing off the day on your calendar in the evening before you go to bed will give you a sense of achievement; it will track your progress.

I know from my own experiences with changes I’ve made in my life over the past few years that the keys are to first establish a new habit and second to need maintain that habit—persevering with your new habit will help you to break your addiction to your old habit.

Sticking to something for 30 days will give you confidence, the confidence to keep going. Lastly (and perhaps most importantly) you’ll have 30 days of results to look at and make a more informed decision as to whether or not your new habit is working for you. If it is, extend the period, if not try something new again and keep going until you find something that you’d make into a habit for life.

For example, part of starting this blog was a little 30-day trial for me, a commitment to engage in something I love (beyond words :) he, he, he) like writing—in turn disciplining myself to work on bettering myself and to contribute something positive to the world every single day. I’m only one person but I know from comments left and an inbox full of correspondence (that I’m slowly working my way through) I am making a difference. Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement.

See I’ve always enjoyed writing but I’ve always been very sporadic and unfocused (for the most part) with it. I woke up at 4 am on New Year’s Day this year and decided that I wanted to write every single day, that I wanted share what I’ve learnt in life so far from my own experience and from those I’ve had conversations with (interviewed) from the creative world.

My hope is that by sharing me trying to live my best life with you guys it will hopefully inspire you to work towards your ‘best life’—to let you know that you’re not alone. Even though at times we may feel alone I can pretty much guarantee that someone somewhere has experienced what you’re going through (and lived to tell the tale). Sometimes we’re just too busy concentrating on our differences to see our commonalities! Open your eyes, mind & heart!

..and just because I don’t look like you or act like you / It doesn’t make me any better or worse– The Suicide Machines

Helpful tips to get you started:

Decided on one thing you’d like to change about your life whether it’s to change your eating habits, quit smoking, drinking or coffee, to exercise, to be less shy, to be a little braver, it is super, super important that you only work on changing one thing at a time! If you try to change more than one thing at once or everything, as I’ve ambitiously attempted unsuccessfully on many occasions… ha, ha!

Ask for help. Have a support group… tape a piece of paper with phone numbers of those that you can count on to encourage and support you to your wall. Even though you may not call them having that visual reminder that you have people on your team will help you hold fast. Knowing that you can pick up the phone when you have a strong urge to engage in your old patterns and talk to someone is an powerful aid.

Prepare for sabotage. When you try to better yourself, unfortunately there can be people you meet and so-called ‘friends’ in your life that don’t share your enthusiasm for you living your best life. They try to derail your plans. They poke fun at your attempts and try to discourage you. People fear change, and a lot of the time you’ll find they’re afraid you’ll leave them behind. You must go forward my friends! Don’t ever play dumb for your social set. Stand up to those that try to keep you down, confront them and tell them they either need to start supporting you or it’s goodbye time.

Identify triggers. What are the things or situations that foster your habit you’re trying to change? Knowing what sets you off can allow you to plan alternate action when they come up. It’s important to have a plan in place. For instance when you get super stressed or when you feel blue what do you do? Do you go drinking with your buds? Do you reach for the cupboard for the cookie dough? Try replacing your existing habit with a new more positive thing like meditation instead of watching TV or drinking herbal tea instead of coffee. To make things easier for you, try to avoid things that could trigger your urges.

Stay Positive. If you slip back into your old pattern or if you miss a day of doing your new thang in the 30 days don’t beat yourself up! Just get back on the horse and keep riding. It’s okay… really! Don’t see it as failing; don’t sabotage all your good work with self-beatdowns. You’ve started to change things in your life you don’t feel are working for you and that in itself is AWESOME!

Take it one day at a time. Take it hour by hour, minute by minute, second by second if need be! Slowly but surely. Find your own rhythm. Some days will be radder than others.

Rest! Don’t run yourself into the ground… take time to replenish your stores, do steady. In my experience when I set my little heart on something I put everything I have into it. I work 110% all the time. I’ve been prone to exhausting myself and I’ve found if I am tired I get fuzzy headed. Being tired can leave you susceptible to triggers and urges and impair your judgement.

Things that can change your life given a 30-day trial:

Talking to someone new every day. It’s amazing what you can learn through conversation. Everyone has a story. Everyone has insight. Everyone can be a teacher.

Stop watching TV. You’ll have time to do more constructive things.

Going for a walk. I get some of my best thoughts while out walking. My brain gets a chance to have a break from the computer, TV, whichever distraction I’m engaged in.

Take up yoga (post coming soon). Seriously, yoga has had such a big impact on my life. Since starting my practice a couple of years ago only good things have come from it.

Spend one hour reading every day. Learn something or get lost in a whole new world.

Call a family member or a friend. We text, email and social network so much these days that we forget the importance and specialness of connecting via picking up the phone. Reconnect with the people you love.

Good luck!

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Tags: advice, How To..., jhonny hobo, motivation, self-love, suicide machines, yoga, your best life