Photo by Juliana Coutinho

“Your life will not go unnoticed, because I will notice it.” ~Susan Sarandon

When I was little girl my parents always told me ‘Don’t trust anyone or don’t put expectations on people that way your chances of getting disappointed will be a whole lot less.’ Hearing that from such a young age pretty much set me up for the life of a lone wolf. As I’ve grown and experienced life for myself, I’ve come to the conclusion that putting your trust in someone and in your friendship with them is the foundation for building a solid friendship. Having friends in your life make things a hell of a lot more fun and interesting.

Lately I’ve had ‘friend’ related challenges in my life and I decided to put together a Friendship Manifesto:

♥ Friends do not do favours for favours, a friend does something for you because they freely want to and they enjoy that giving. It’s something from the heart. They do it without expecting something in return.

♥ Friends are there to listen in your time of need but do not rescue you, only you can do this for yourself. Otherwise you get caught in a cycle of always relying on others to fix your problems. A real friend recognises and acknowledges your capability to help yourself.

♥ Friends take responsibility for their actions. Everything is not someone else’s fault…repeat… everything is not someone else’s fault! Your life is your responsibility. Each event is a result of the choices that you have made and are making. Friends don’t blame others if things don’t go exactly the way they want. Use your power of choice when navigating the people in your life.

♥ Friends don’t need to excuse their bad behaviour because there is no excuse for bad behaviour between friends. If you respect each other you’ll treat each other respectfully.

♥ Friends don’t have ulterior motives. They like you for who you are and enjoy your company. If you’re not enjoying someone’s company maybe they’re not your friend.

♥ Friends don’t need to hear from or see each other every day (but it’s appreciated and nice if they do). If you’ve been apart for any length of time you just pick up right where you left off the next time you see each other. There’s no ‘why didn’t you call?’ ‘oh well, you didn’t call either’ moments.

♥ Friends support and encourage each other’s positive growth and are there to help point you in the right direction. Friends love each other the times they least deserve it because they know that’s the time they usually need help most.

♥ A friend asks you the hard questions because they genuinely care for you.

♥ Friends don’t wait for you to come to them, they come to visit you too! They make the effort to hop in their car, ride their bike, catch the bus/train/whatever… friends make an effort to see you.

♥ Real friends know when it’s time to walk away from the friendship. Sometimes when good friendships go bad we stay in the friendships, out of obligation or familiarity and start to hurt one another. In my experience a lot of people in general sabotage things rather than take responsibility and go ‘hey this isn’t working!’ Things just run their course sometimes, this includes friendships; don’t hold onto friendships just because you’ve always been in each other’s lives. Ask does this friendship fit me anymore? People grow and (hopefully) evolve, hanging on to friendships that don’t fit anymore can stunt both your growth. Love each other enough to call it a day.

♥ Friendship is about reciprocal cherishing, loving and caring. Some of you may be surprised to know that to be a good friend you need to be able to receive loving care as well as give it. Love yourself, love someone else.

♥ Friends bring out the very best in you.

Songs in theme of friendship playlist…

Ben – Michael Jackson
Friend or Foe – Jay-Z
Rancid – Fall Back Down
Friend or Foe? – Agnostic Front
The Friendship Song – Fraggle Rock
Friends Like You – Sick Of It All
Best Friend – 50 Cent
Memories Remain – Dropkick Murphys
Always Be – LaRue
Umbrella – Rihanna
Best Friend – Queen
Here’s To The Night – Eve

My friends make up my own personal cheer squad! I am thankful for them every single day. How do you feel about yours? Have anything to add to the Friendship Manifesto?

My Pal by Australian band God… this is without a doubt one of my all-time favourite songs:

I leave you with the words of Kahlil Gibran “Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity.”

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Tags: agnostic front, fraggle rock, friendship, friendship manifesto, GOD, jay-z, rancid, rihanna, self-love, sick of it all, trust