Downtime [06 January 2010]

Art by Amerikan Blackheart

I’m tired of being blown, I need some time alone - Hobo Obituaries – Sad Trumpet

“I restore myself when I’m alone.” ~Marilyn Monroe

Time alone allows me to recharge my emotional and mental batteries. It gives me time to reflect and put things into perspective. I get a chance to ask myself what do I want to do in, and with my life.

To some, hanging out with yourself can be a daunting task. Not for me, nor Brody Dalle, during a chat she professed, “I die for those moments alone.”

Going solo for a few hours, a day, even days (if you’re lucky) is a great chance to get to know yourself, to discover things about you. How else do you think I found out that I can make really great dinosaur noises (ha!)? Pick coloured-pencils up off the floor with my toes like a champion! Or that I have a love of teen cheerleading movies! And am (at least I think I am) the world’s most interesting, exciting electronic drum kit player (not! More unco than brilliant. Ha!).

Spending time alone can give you great ideas because you get to think about your needs dreams etc. instead of everyone else’s. Yesterday’s alone time bashing our Roland V drums gave me the idea of making an entire album using drums and vocals only! I’m obsessed with the Cosmosis kit sound (space jams are go! We have lift off! Kaboom!) We all have secret alone time behaviour and it’s great and necessary that we give ourselves that. It allows us time to romance ourselves. What are the things you do when you’re alone? Discovered any hidden talents?

A few months ago I was in therapy and my shrink gave me an exercise to take home to complete. The assignment was to spend one hour alone each day and do anything I want during that time. I’m like “How am I going to find an hour?” She told me if an hour of downtime was too hard to organise to start with 15 minutes and build up to it. In that time she didn’t want me thinking about anyone else. See since I was a child I’ve always been a helper and nurturer. My year One school report commented: Bianca likes to help others, and is so keen to assist that she becomes a problem for the person she is helping (it’s like who writes that on a 6-year old child’s school report? It also mentions though that I like to line my colouring pencils up along the desk top in rainbow order!). From a young age I’ve always been around people (when I was little I had a play pen at my parents motorcycle store and regulars used to come bounce me on their knee). So I’m pretty used to people’s company. A few years back I couldn’t stand to be alone. So, I found the exercise pretty darn hard.

We spend so much time interacting with others and we’re taught from a young age the importance of that. We’re taught to appreciate and enjoy others’ company but rarely are we taught to nurture ourselves and to enjoy ours. Often we can end up with feelings of guilt for taking alone time or we’ll feel as though we’re being lazy or not being productive enough. For me finding an hour a day for myself was hard at first, now it’s mandatory.

Being alone starts you on the path to knowing yourself and when you know yourself you love yourself and feel comfortable with you. Feeling good about you can lift your confidence and boost your mood. It also teaches you to rely on yourself and make choices and decisions yourself (no conferencing or compromise with others to work out where you’re going to eat? What move you’re going to see at the movies?) The confidence you build will filter into other aspects of your life, including when you’re hanging with others.

So there’s no time like the present, get in the Gorilla Biscuits mindset and start today!

Enjoy your downtime!

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